Free/Reduced Price Monster Fun!

I have two news items to announce today:

First, for only two more days, Bigfoot Bangs the Militia is free on Amazon. Think of it as a reward for completing your taxes. Or, if you are tardy with the filing, maybe you need some good escapism. The freedom-loving protagonists of the story would wholeheartedly approve of avoiding paying taxes, any way you can.

After Monday, April 18, this story goes back to the standard price of $2.99, so download it now while it’s free!

Second item: I’ve permanently lowered the price of Lure of the Prairie Monster to $.99. It’s topical right now, as we are in prairie burning season as I write. (I’m hoping it’s mostly over, though, because the pervasive smoke is getting to all of us here in the Flint Hills of Kansas. cough cough) LotPM has writing about this dramatic seasonal practice, as well as a juicy, romantic encounter between a nature-loving human woman and a sensitive monster of the prairie.

Lure of the Prairie Monster is available on Amazon, but also Barnes and Noble, Kobo, and other ebook retailers.

After you read these stories, may I humbly implore that you write a review on Amazon, goodreads, or wherever you purchased them.

Happy reading!

The Prairie Monster Is Real!

Well, not really, but the story about the prairie monster is now available for purchase, which makes it a real (self-)published piece of literature. Here are some places you can buy it, if you wish to. If you prefer another retailer, leave a comment and I’ll get you the link. If you support independent authors by reviewing their work, let me know and I’d love to give you a review copy.


Barnes and Noble


You can also find Lure of the Prairie Monster for Apple devices, through the bookstore at iTunes.

Lure of the Prairie Monster, Part 2


We continue our story. For part 1, click here.

Viv and Tess walked along the barbed-wire fence, lighting matches and dropping them. There were more efficient ways of igniting a pasture, but Viv liked playing with matches. Occasionally they’d turn around and watch the line of flames coming to life behind them.

“I can’t stop thinking about that –thing. I hope we see him,” said Tess.

“He better not touch any of our cattle.  I’ll shoot his ass so fast you won’t believe it.”

“Jeb Chase said the bullets bounced right off.”

And then the monster was there. He’d just stepped to the top of the hill ahead, and he towered over the two women, roaring louder than any sound she’d ever heard before. It felt as if the sound went through Tess’s body, catching up every cell in vibrations so powerful she might explode.

“Run to the truck!” yelled Viv, and took off. After a few seconds she looked back and saw she was running alone. “COME ON! RUN!!”

But Tess was paralyzed. She’d never felt so drawn to anyone or anything. She couldn’t move away, didn’t want to. She looked up at him, holding one hand to shade her eyes from the sun. His thick, rough skin had the color of weather-bleached limestone, with sparse, wiry hair sticking out in tawny tufts. And of course, there was that enormous cock, as big as her entire body. Was there a female one of these, somewhere, for him to mate with?

“Get in the truck!” Viv had pulled up on the road on the other side of the fence. “Hurry!”

Tess looked back at the monster. She took a step forward. He tilted his head down, and the massive legs bent into a crouch. She braced against his breath, like a hot wind. She was surprised that it had an earthy, organic aroma, but not unpleasant. He looked at her, with eyes that showed awareness. He was studying her. She stared into his eyes, and knew she was safe. He could swat her like a fly, but he wouldn’t.

“Over here! Get in the truck!” Viv was laying on the horn.

She took another step forward. There was darkness in her peripheral vision, then a firm, warm grip wrapped around her torso. He had fingers somewhat like an ape, but with claws more like a dog. The grip was light enough that she could wriggle out if she chose to. But she didn’t.

The hand raised her dizzyingly high in the air, and brought her against his chest. His skin was rough and hard as the native rock of the hills. She leaned in and felt the warmth, and listened to the deep, slow thud of his heart.

He walked. Tess felt in her bones the rhythm of his heavy footsteps; the long sideways sway, the drop of each gargantuan foot, vibrating the earth with the force of a boulder. After a while she peeked down at the mind-boggling erection, and was startled to notice that she was aroused. Sure, it was nice to look at, but what on earth would she do with a thing that size?

She closed her eyes, relaxing into his hand.


When he stopped walking, she looked around. She’d thought she’d known every hill in the county, but she didn’t recognize where they were. The ground was black from burning, and a thick haze of smoke hung in the air. The monster was settling himself down beside a hill, and he gently set Tess on a ledge of rock that jutted out flat, high on the side of the hill. When he lay down beside the ledge, she saw that his craggy skin made it possible for him to blend into the prairie and be invisible, for all his enormity; the blackened earth, however, left him vulnerable. If he’d wanted to eat her or otherwise harm her, he could easily have done so by now, several times over; and so she decided she was safe with him, and lay on the sun-warmed rock beside his face, wondering what would happen next.

He continued to gaze at her. His breath was hot and moist as a sauna, so warm that she was soon soaked in sweat. After a while she decided to take off her clothes. He wasn’t human, after all, so it really wasn’t any different from being naked in front of a dog or cat, was it?

There was a very low, but very loud, rumble. It was so low that she felt it rather than heard it, felt it deep in her body, in her gut, and in her pelvis. It was a pleasant feeling, and she smiled a little as she lay on the warm rock. She closed her eyes, and it wasn’t until she felt his touch that she realized that the rumble was coming from him, from his throat. And the touch –oh, the touch. Who would ever have imagined that the touch of this giant, lumbering, prairie monster could be so delicate? He stroked her with a finger that was stubby and thick as a railroad tie, but with such sweet gentleness that it brought tears to her eyes. Could it be that Tess had never truly known tender caresses, before today? From the top of her head to the sensitive soles of her feet he stroked, and slowly back up the inner side of her leg, out to the hip bone, circling her lower abdomen. Her nipples were shriveled and hard as pebbles before he touched them. Waves of tingles spread throughout her body. When, panting and shivering, she thought she could take no more, he laid a smooth, hard claw firmly against her clitoris. “Oh!” she cried out in surprise and pleasure.


What other skills does the Prairie Monster have? The complete story is available at the eretailer of your choice.

Lure of the Prairie Monster

It was never long enough, when they made love. Tess would have lingered for hours under the weight of his burly body, twisting her fingers through his wiry beard, feeling his heart beating on her chest. But too soon he rolled away, making a wordless sound deep in his throat. She rolled toward him, resting her arm on his torso, savoring the contrast of his rough, hairy chest against the delicate smoothness of her skin. For a moment they lay there, in reverie. Then he roused himself with a shake of his head and spoke.

“I don’t think this is working out.”

She rolled her back to him, pulling a sheet over her nakedness, and curled up in a ball. “I thought it was going pretty well.” She knew where this conversation was headed, and she wouldn’t prolong the process. The relationship was already in the past tense.

“You need so much. I can’t give you enough. You know, it’s terrifying to a man to be with a woman who needs more than he does.”

And just like that, it was over.

They dressed without looking at each other. He clicked on the tv. Typical of a man to distract himself from feeling the pain of the moment, she thought.

“. . . Authorities are at a loss to explain the large animal that has been terrorizing the region today. Local residents are hoping anxiously that they’ll figure out sooner rather than later what it is, and what to do about it. At least one rancher claims it damaged a number of his cattle.”

Cut to a sun-wrinkled man in a plaid button-down shirt, the words, “Jeb Chase, Rancher” across the bottom of the screen. “It was as big as Godzilla. I tell you, it was huge. Walked on two legs. Scooped up three cows and ate ’em in one bite. I tried to shoot it with my hunting rifle but the bullets just bounced off.”

“Oh my god, this can’t be for real!” Tess cried, as they watched footage of the bloody remains of the cattle, alternating with clips from various Godzilla movies. “It’s right in this area! You know Jeb Chase, don’t you?”

He didn’t answer. He put on his shoes and walked out the door.


“Dude was a loser, you could do so much better.” Her friend Viv had come to pick her up to go to her brother’s ranch and help out on a controlled prairie burn. Mopey, Tess had just been coming out of the shower when Viv arrived.

“I thought we had good chemistry.”

“The guy couldn’t even hold a conversation. He was all, ‘Me Tarzan, you Jane.'”

“Maybe I get enough witty conversation from my girlfriends. There are some things you can only get from a man.”

“Whoa! Check it out!” Viv was thumbing her phone while she waited. “What is that thing?”

“Hey! They got some footage!”

He actually wasn’t nearly as large as Godzilla. Maybe the original Godzilla, the one who was 30-40 feet tall. It was hard to judge, though, since the creature was in open prairie, not near any buildings or man-made structures to compare by. “I don’t think he’s Godzilla. See how he’s more hairy than scaly?”

“How do you know it’s a he?” said Viv, who was a feminist, and resisted gender assumptions.

As if on cue, the monster turned a profile to the camera, displaying a fully erect, very impressive phallus.

“Definitely a he.”


Click here for the second installation of the story.